Harry Potter What If
by MsPikachu
Summary: I was bored... really bored.... I WANT CHOCOLATE!
1. Andi and Cuzin at Hogwarts

Harry Potter What-If

Part one: If Andi and Cuzin were at Hogwarts

"Cuzin! Get up!" Andi shouted as she jumped up and down on Kierstyn's bed.

"Andi?" Kierstyn asked, pulling the blanket over her head. "It's 9 a.m. on Saturday morning! Leave me ALONE!"

Andi sighed. "Cuzin and Cedric sittin' in a tree—"

"WHY YOU LITTLE----!" Kierstyn shouted, jumping out of bed.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH SHE'S TRYING TO KILL ME! NOOOOO!" Andi cried. Suddenly, Andi hit something as if it were in midair and fainted on the ground.

Kierstyn sighed. She kicked Andi on the side.

Hermione came in through the stairs and looked at Andi's dead body (sort of). "Do I WANT to know?"

"Probably not." Kierstyn answered.

"WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP!" Ron cried, throwing a sock at Kierstyn. "I'M TRYING TO DO HOMEWORK!"

Hermione gasped. "RON'S DOING HOMEWORK! AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Hermione ran into the invisible wall that Andi ran into earlier.

"Hooo boy. Here it comes." Kierstyn said, slapping her forehead.

I know, this one's kind of lame. I could come up with better, but right now…yeah. It'll get better… hopefully.


	2. A Regular Review for Random PPL

Alix: #on sugar...# WHOOOOOOO! CHEESE!

Legolas: #face palm# Why do I have a weird cousin again?

Alix: #throws eraser at Legolas# BECAUSE YOU DO! #pouts#

Ciera: #pats her sis on the head like a puppy dog# It's alright, dear.

Andi: #hugs kyo plushie# I LOVE YOU UNCLE DADDY!

Legolas: Okay...Insane child... I'll call the mental asylum now...

Andi: NO! THAT PLACE MAKES ME SAD! The doctor, u know, the one with the big needle! He gave me a cookie and told me I was NORMAL!

Legolas: And that's...bad?

Andi: OF COURSE IT'S BAD! I HAVE A REPUTATION YOU KNOW! WAAAAHHHHHHH!

Rachel (AKA Mommy): Wow... she goes almost as caps as HARRY!

Ciera: I thought we already established dis...

Mommy: WELL WE'RE ESTABLISHING IT AGAIN! Hey, I can go caps too! WHEEEEEE!

Andi: MOMMY YOU TOOK MY JOB!

Mommy: OH WELL! DEAL WITH IT!

Andi: WHY ARE WE SHOUTING!

Mommy: I CHALLENGE YOU TO A CAPS CONTEST!

Andi: OKAY. WHY ARE WE GOING CAPS AGAIN?

Hermione: so you can beat Harry's record.

Andi & Mommy: WHAAT!

Hermione: SO YOU CAN BEAT HARRY'S **RECORD**!

Legolas: #rubs forehead# oh…boy. #puts on earplugs#

Alix: WHY **ARE** WE SHOUTING!

Andi, Mommy, & Hermione: FOR THE LAST TIME!

**SO WE CAN BEAT HARRY'S RECORRRRRDDDDD!**

Legolas: … I'm leaving now….#runs to the door#

Ciera: WAIT FOR ME! #runs out the door with Legolas#

20 miles away

Ciera: I think we lost them.

Legolas: I hope we lost them.

Randomly: **SO WE CAN BEAT HARRY'S FLIPPIN' RECORD!**

Legolas: I don't think we went far enough….

Ciera: Gee ya think?

30 light years away

Legolas: NOW have we lost them?

Ciera: I think so… wait… how can we breathe up here?

Monkey: well, it goes a little like this—

#3 minutes later#

Ciera: …really?

Monkey: Yes. I must go to Lord Moldy-Butt now.

Legolas: tell him I said hi.

Monkey: NO! WAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA #flies away#

Legolas: O.o that was…. Strange…

Ciera: . I'm scared of monkeys….

Randomly: **HI HARRY! HI RON! HOW ARE YOU!**

Legolas: Ciera…

Ciera: what?

Legolas: Kill me now…

Ciera: #ponders for a moment# BUT—nyeh, okay. #pulls out lightsaber# #swings at Legolas, but misses# Oh snap, I missed…

Legolas: … I think you hit the crazy monkey…

Monkey: EEK EEK AAAHHHH OOOH EEEK! #dead#

Ciera: #eye twitch# Wow…That's creepy…

Andi: #comes flying out of the window into Legolas# **HI LEGOLAS! HOW ARE YOU?**

Legolas: **WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!**

Andi: MOMMY THREW ME OUT A WINDOW!

Legolas: #sighs# #picks Andi up and throws her back into the window#

Andi: **OW THAT HURT! I'LL GET YOU LOTI!**

(For those who don't know, LOTI is Legolas… Don't ask, long story, if you want to know, message me. )


	3. Bloopers!

Harry Potter Bloopers:

** Scene 1: the end of "Goblet of Fire" where Harry and Cedric come back **

Harry: CEDRIC!

Dumbledore: #trying to pull Harry off of Cedric# it's alright Harry.

Harry: #crying# NO IT'S NOT! HE NEVER GAVE ME BACK MY COOKIE!

** Scene 1 Take 2 **

Harry: CEDRIC!

#nothing happens#

Harry: AHEM I SAID CEDRIC!

Dumbledore: Did what? Good night.

Andi: WRONG LINE YOU DORK!

Dumbledore: I can't improvise?

Andi: NOT in MY movie!

Alix: This isn't your movie…

Andi: #shifty eyes# **BEWARE! **#runs away# #runs into the invisible pole# #dies#

** Scene 2: Middle of "Goblet of Fire" when McGonagall is teaching them to dance **

McGonagall: Put your waist on my hand.

Andi: CUT!

** Scene 2 Take 2 **

McGonagall: Put your hand on my waist.

Ron: Why?

Andi: #slaps Ron#

** Scene 2 Take 3 **

McGonagall: Put your hand on my waist.

Ron: _Where!_

McGonagall: My waist.

Ron: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! runs into invisible pole

** Scene 3: Middle, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang are being introduced **

Beauxbatons girls: #run by#

Ron: Bloody—KIERSTYN YOU PUT MY CHOCOLATE CAKE DOWN RIGHT NOW!

Andi: ITS MINE!

Kierstyn: MINE!

#3 days later#

Harry: HA! I HAVE PREVAILED! #holds chocolate cake and eats it#

Andi & Kierstyn: WAH YOU MAKE ME SAD! JINX YOU OWE ME A SODA! STOP COPYING ME! #raspberry#

** Scene 3 Take 2 **

Ron: Bloody hell!

Beauxbatons girl: EXCUSE ME! #slaps Ron#


	4. More BLOOPERS!

Prisoner of Azkaban Bloopers

(A/N: These might not go in order, but whatever…)

** Scene 1: Ron's leg was bitten **

Shadow: Ron, are you okay?

Ron: #sarcastic# Naw, don't mind me. I'm just bleeding to death!

Shadow: Okay. Come on, let's go. #walks away with Andi and Kierstyn#

Ron: I was joking!

Andi: #sighs# Fine. Professor Skippy – I mean – Snape!

Snape: #comes around# What did you call me?

Andi: Professor Snape?

Snape: Before that.

Andi: #pause# Professor Snape?

**(A/N: For those of you who couldn't figure it out, Professor Skippy is Snape's nickname…Don't ask…)**

** Scene 1, Take 2 **

Shadow: #eyeing Ron bleeding# I'm not gonna bother. #walks away#

Ron: Hey, HEY!

(Three days later…)

Ron: #dead#

** Scene 3: They meet Sirius in the Shrieking Shack **

Kierstyn: Spare us the 'super villain riff'. We're on a clock here.

Sirius: #looks confused# That's not in the script…

Kierstyn: #glares# Well, hurry up anyways! #taps watch# Shadow, Andi, and I have to go to marching band practice!

**(Let's pretend Hogwarts had a motocross team…)**

** Scene 4: Night before the Quidditch Final **

Oliver Wood: #stands up in common room# Team! Bed!

#Kierstyn and Andi stand up#

Kierstyn & Andi: Which one? #Kierstyn is holding up a motocross helmet and Andi is holding a broom stick#

Wood: #looks confused# Um…Both!

** Scene 5: The quidditch match where the dementors come **

Andi: #points at dementors# Dementor, dementor…

Kierstyn: #points# Dementor's wife…

Andi: #continues to point# Yes, dementor's wife, and…DRESS!

#one dementor is wearing a blue summer dress#

Hermione: #face palm#

**(A/N: That's all I got for now…)**


	5. WEE! Blooper PARTY!

Prisoner of Azkaban Bloopers Continued

** Scene 1: In Trelawney's class **

Trelawney: Now look into your tea cups. … What do you see?

Kierstyn: I see… tea leaves. Nothing special. Can I eat lunch now?

** Scene 1, Take 2 **

Kierstyn: I see… tea leaves. Nothing special. Can I go home now?

Trelawney: Sit your butt down!

Kierstyn: #puts nose on chair#

Trelawney: …

**(A/N: Don't ask. Inside joke…)**

** Scene 1 Take 3 **

Kierstyn: … Can I go home now?

Hermione: OOH! OOH! PICK ME! PICK ME!

Kierstyn: … #anime sweat drop# Her…mione?

Hermione: YES! #grabs Kierstyn's arm and runs out the door# FREEDOM!

**Order of the Phoenix Bloopers!**

Harry and Cho: #kiss#

Andi: #takes picture#

Harry and Cho: #break away#

Harry: #glare# WHAT are you doing with that!

Andi: THIS is going on the front page of the DAILY PROPHET!

** Take 2 **

Harry and Cho: #kiss#

Andi: #whacks Cho upside the head# MINE…MINE!

Harry: WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR!

Andi: #picks up sexy owl# It's MY owl! MINE!

**(A/N: 'Sexy owl' is another inside joke…)**


	6. Random bloopers!

**Random Bloopers (because Andi and Cuzin were BORED!)**

**#Cedric dies twice – Take one#**

Cuzin: CEDRIIIIIIIIIIIC!

Cedric: #comes back alive# Yeah?

Andi: You know you're supposed to be dead…. Right?

Cedric: Right. #dies… again…#

**#Take two#**

Cedric: #gets up#

Andi: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD YOU NINCOMPOOP! Dead people don't just GET UP and walk away!

Cedric: They do when they have to go the bathroom.

Andi: #takes out a gun and shoots Cedric# NOW THEY _STAY _DEAD!

**#Voldemort comes back alive in the 4th movie/book – Take one#**

Voldemort: #gets new body and rubs his head#

Cuzin: #watches with raised eyebrow# Yes, you're as bald as a cue ball.

**#Take two#**

Andi: Yes, thank you for your generous patronage.

Voldemort: What did I do?

Andi: Thank you for lending your nose and your hair to Michael Jackson.

**#Take three#**

Voldemort: AVADA KEDEVRA!

Andi: HA! You missed! AVADA CUMPERIO!

Voldemort: WHAT THE HECK!

Andi: HA! YOU'RE A DUCK NOW!

**(A/N: "Avada Cumperio" is another inside joke… Don't ask. Mommy and I were bored….)**

**#People always twitch when "Voldemort" is said – Take 1#**

Harry: Guys… Voldemort is after me.

Ron and Hermione: #twitch#

Andi: Voldemort… Voldemort… Voldemort…

Ron and Hermione: #twitch… twitch… twitch#

Alix: WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE! So his name is Voldemort. We get that.

Ron and Hermione: #twitch#

**(A/N: I'm trying to put in Half-Blood Prince Bloopers w/out putting in spoilers, so… if I accidentally DO put in spoilers… I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY PAUL! ---I'M SORRY PAUL! I MISSED THE RAILROAD TRACKS!--- Don't ask. Guard thing…and BAND THING… for Alix.)**

**#Random 6th book blooper – Take one#**

Lupin: People were under the impression that I had a badly behaved rabbit…

Andi: AAAAAAHHHHH! I HATE RABBITS! #hides under a table#

**#Take two#**

Alix: A rabbit that just keeps going…

Lupin: yes. It keeps going…

Alix: Just like the Energizer Bunny.

**Okay, I know. We were REALLY bored. LoL! I love you all! Keep reading! We'll have fun writing bloopers! And… "Sirius"ly… I need blooper ideas. Thanks guys! We luv ya!**

**--Andi**

**--Alix**


	7. We REALLY love you guys!

**MORE random bloopers**

**#Harry is in the chamber fighting the Basilisk (C. o. S)#**

Harry: #holds up Godric Gryffindor's sword and slashes it in front of the Basilisk# YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

Gandalf: #whacks Harry on the head with his shiny staff# LINE STEALER! #Turns Harry into a duck# Jerk off…

Harry: QUACK! QUACK QUACK! (Translation: HEY! MEANY BUTT!)

**#At the Great Hall (P. o. A.)#**

Gandalf: It is not in the nature of a dementor to be forgiving…

Alix: … Aren't you in the wrong movie?

Gandalf: Dumbledore is feeling under the weather and asked me to fill in for him.

_To Dumbledore_

Dumbledore: #playing on his X-Box and eating sugar and chocolate and candy and cheese and Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans# HAHA GANDALF WHAT A SUCKA!

_Back to the Great Hall_

Andi: #sighs# Poor Dumbledore…

**#What happens when Alix and Andi (Hey look! Alliteration! I'll shut up now. Hehe) are BORED! (3 pages later) !#**

Andi: #sings the chicken dance song# Da da da da da-da da… (YOU KNOW THE SONG!) Da da-da da da

Harry, Hermione, Alix, Ron, Dumbledore, Sirius, Voldemort, Andi, Moody, Longbottom, Prongs, Wormtail, McGonagall, Cedric, The Fat Lady, Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Salazar Slytherin, Rowena Ravenclaw, the Fat Friar, Nearly Headless Nick, John the Baptist, LOTI (inside joke), Uncle-Daddy (other inside joke), Lily Potter, the Dursleys, Lupin, Tonks, Pro. Skippy, Kingsley Shacklebot, Dementors, Hagrid, Narcissa Malfoy, Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Katie Bell, Oliver Wood, George Weasley, Fred Weasley, Percy Weasley (Andi: PISS OFF!), Bill Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Molly and Arthur Weasley, Rita Skeeter, Fleur Delacour, Viktor Krum, Bellatrix Lestrange, Angelina Johnson, Tom Riddle, Fawks, Thomas Riddle, Madam Pince, Colin Creevy, Denis Creevy, Alicia Spinnet, Firenze, Mafalda Hopkirk, Dobby, Winky, Barty Crouch, Barty Crouch Jr., Gilderoy Lockhart, Pro. Quirrell, Pro. Dippet, Parvati Patil, Padma Patil, Hannah Abbot, Aunt Marge, Sir Cadogan, Mundungus Fletcher, Mrs. Figg, Mr. Filch, Madame Maxime, Igor Karkarroff, Trelawny, Flitwick, Cho Chang, Roger Davies, Cornelius Fudge, Macnair, Dolores Umbridge, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, Lee Jordan, Pigwidgeon, Hedwig, Buckbeak, Errol, Lavender Brown, Marcus Flint, Kreacher, Crabbe, Goyle, Crookshanks, Madam Hooch, Uncle Alphhard, Montague, Regulus Black, Andromeda Black, Rodolphus Lestrange, Ludo Bagman, Gabrielle Delacour, Hermes, the Chudley Cannons, Fluffy, Amos Diggory, Mrs. Diggory (Her name was not mentioned), Mr. Roberts, Kevin, Archie, Avery, Nott, Rook, Bertha Jorkins, Mommy (inside joke), Ducky (other inside joke), Veela, Dimitrov, Troy, Mullet, Moran, Levski, Hassan Mostafa, Lynch, and Paul (don't ask): #clap clap clap clap#

**(A/N: We… just went through…. EVERY SINGLE HARRY POTTER BOOK OUT IN AMERICA! Y'ALL HAD BETTER LIKE IT… #ominous music# or ELSE… #dun dun duuuuuuuunnnnnnnn……..# We do this… because we're bored… and because we'd like to thank itachisgirl101, Nanusha, and Amberhawk for reading and enjoying and… quite frankly, getting our insane-ness. ) THANK YOU! And if you happen to find any characters we missed… please tell us. We want this to be more random. Plus, I'm sure we missed a crap load of characters.)**


	8. I'm continuing ! Yay :D

Geez, i just realized that I haven't updated in the LONGEST time... Sorry to all those who like to read me and Alix's stories...

Well, here's a little something we wrote. Have fun :

Ron: We're going to go get some breakfast. Are you hungry? Kaleigh: Hungry? You want to know if I'm hungry… Am I hungry after watching the tournament turn ugly last night? Am I hungry after watching my friends come back from a graveyard badly injured, one seemingly dead, to learn that Voldemort has returned? (Ron flinches) Am I hungry after learning that Moody wasn't Moody at all but a crazed Death Eater who killed his father and entered Harry into this whole mess in the first place? I just watched Fudge, who picked tonight, of all nights, to let the leadership of the Ministry crash and burn and my father has to leave again, while Harry and Cedric are lying in this hospital wing unconscious and we still have classes later today when we've been up all night and YOU want to know if I'm HUNGRY! You're right I'm hungry! And if you're going to get something to eat, it better have chocolate and you better get it RIGHT NOW before some other catastrophe happens! YOU UNDERSTAND ME!

Andi: clapping Well said, Kay ! I'm hungry too ! Ron: Wtfreak ? Kay: Yeah. I want chocolate. Andi: YAY CHOCOLATE ! WEEEEEEE runs around 


End file.
